When someone disbelieves me I usually tend to argue back and try to prove my point to the others but eventually not able to convince them. Yet I find that the more I talk, less I am listened to. I only end up getting irritated. Many times we do correct people, but we find that the impact of our words on others’ is not much. We are at that time caught up with what we need from the other person and our own expectations that we fail to understand the other person. So I don’t always find the result and sometimes find my relationship getting strained too.
I have some weaknesses which I constantly make effort to remove. But at the same time I also keep looking at and describing others’ weaknesses. When I continue to do this, the negativity naturally comes within me too. When someone challenges the truth of my words, I need to check within myself if there is something that I can correct or learn. When I learn to do this, instead of being stubborn with what I have to say or blaming others, I find it easy to tolerate.
It is positivity that appeals to me and not negativity. So I need to make a conscious effort to pick out virtues especially from those people whom I see negativity in. This practice enables me to be free from the influence of others’ negativity. The usual reaction to negativity is to be negative too. The perception of this negativity tends to make me feel disheartened and I tend to lose my inner happiness. Once I have perceived the negativity, even if I do try to forgive the person and forget the harm done, I find it difficult to do so.
When I see someone working with some negative quality, what I need to do is to look at the positivity that is hidden behind the apparent pessimism. The more I am able to look at people’s specialities the more I am able to forgive their weaknesses and this keeps me constantly cheerful. When there is criticism that comes one’s way, there is a tendency to ignore or to defend one. Naturally we then lose the power to listen. We then find that we are not able to correct our mistakes and so they repeat. We thus find that we are not able to experience progress.
Usually in relationships we begin to expect from people whom we get close to. We feel that because we have love for them we have a right over them. Because of our expectations we are not able to give the other person freedom to move forward or progress. On the same time I need to carefully analyse to see if there is any truth in any criticism that comes my way. If there is, correction can be made accordingly. When I listen to others with honesty, I am able to discover even the most negligible aspect in my behaviour which I can change. So I find myself constantly improving and progressing and moving on towards success. Similarly when I have true love I am able to provide the right environment for people so that they can bring about progress in their life. I will not hold on to them and expect them to do everything according to my needs, but give them real support.
When there are good wishes combined with the words that we articulate, there is love. Whatever is spoken with love is free from selfishness and has its effect on others. Such words are free from all kind of negativity, so they naturally have a lot of power. Only such powerful words can bring about a change in others. This also enables me to gain good wishes for having taken them a step forward.
Words filled with good wishes bring change not only in others but also in ourselves.
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