Anger can be a good thing, it makes things move for you, it may give you a way to express negative feelings and it also acts as a motivator for you to find solutions to the problems. I have met many people who believe in anger. Their simple logic is that anger pushes them for things to happen at times. There are many deep rooted false ideas about anger that we have acquired which we use to justify and nourish our anger.
Life brings obstacles, difficulties and some undesired circumstances which lead us to the state of anger. It is not very difficult to understand how anger is one of the greatest fires in the human mind. Anger may take the form of yelling, shouting and verbal abuse, such as threatening, accusing, demanding, giving ultimatums: ‘Do it or else!’ But more than this anger also brings irritations; it is more when we do not speak it out: it is that silent on flam where we emit fumes and fires of stored resentments and hatred, which effectively cuts real communication with others and ultimately ruins relationships.
We get angry because we expect a certain type of behaviour from someone and when the behaviour is not according to our expectations we become violent, convincing ourselves that others deserve to be punished. However, this result is an unresolved violence, which keeps emerging according to time and circumstance. Angry people feel too self-justified to even think about forgiveness, or letting go, in order make a person or situation peaceful – they are too attached to the fact that they are right and the other is wrong.
Never getting angry is impossible. Instead, remember that how you act when you’re angry can make the situation better or worse. Don’t let anger be the master of you, instead take charge of it! You don’t realize the danger anger presents to your personal health and well-being. By maintaining the old belief, you conveniently avoid the inner work of changing a deep negative habit. Anger can’t be a natural response to other people’s behaviour. In order to be assertive, anger has to be used as a weapon. The word ‘Anger’ is the opposite of ‘Assertiveness’. When you become angry, firstly you are killing yourself, and those with whom you become angry are only going to give back to you what they get or distance themselves from you completely.
To make a real and lasting peace with others we need to be anger-free, which can be achieved through meditation. Meditation enables you to remain kind towards what and who you see, no matter what they appear to have done. If anger has become a problem in your life, please do not hesitate for help from some expert psychologist.
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