Have you ever thought of your importance in the society? For a moment if your values, wealth and position in society are taken away from you, will you be given the same amount of respect and honour? I hope all of you will agree that the answer is going to be a big ‘No’. Irrespective of the fact that you might be surrounded by number of relatives and friends the fact remains that you are alone.
No one is courageous enough to be alone; you need some one. Why do you need some one? You are afraid of your own loneliness. You become bored with yourself. And really when you are lonely nothing seems meaningful. With some one you are occupied, and you create artificial meanings around you.
You cannot live for yourself, so you start to live for some one else. And the same is the case with that some one else too – he or she can’t live alone, so he or she is in search to find some one. Two persons who are afraid of their own loneliness come together and they start a play – A play of friendship and love. But deep down they are searching for attachment, commitment and bondage.
You can’t directly ask some one for slavery; it is too humiliating. And directly you cannot say to some one, “Become my slave”, he will revolt! Nor can you say, “I can’t live without you. But the meaning is there; it is the same. And when this – the real desire- is fulfilled, love disappears. Then you feel bondage, slavery, and then you start struggling to become free.
Remember this, it is one of the paradoxes of the mind: whatsoever you get you will be bored with, and what so ever you do not get you will long for, some slavery, some bondage. When you are in bondage you’ll long for freedom – and free people try again to be slaves. The mind goes on like a pendulum, moving from one extreme to another.
Love doesn’t become an attachment, rather it was a need; love was just the attraction. You were in search of a need named attachment; love was just an attraction to catch the need.
When the fish is caught, the bait is thrown.
Remember this, and whenever you are doing something, go deep within yourself to find about the basic cause. The moment you feel you are no longer dependent on anyone, a deep silence settles inside and self reliance comes. It does not mean that you start staying alone or stop loving. On the contrary, for the first time you will know a new quality, a new dimension of love – a love that is no longer biological, a love that is closer to friendliness than any relationship of the world.
I agree that no one is courageous enough to live alone but have you experienced being ‘forced’ by circumstances to do that? Courage then is not of issue.
No I haven’t experienced to live alone so far, but the point is that one has to be prepared for it and love him/herself because the fact remains that each one of us is self cenetered and this is the way we survive.
Well, there’s a singer who said: ‘learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all’.
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Somewhere it was wisely told: Alone is ‘All in One’. May be.
Alone and Loneliness are not one and the same as somewhere it was wisely refined.
Another dimension, in the first place if you can not love youself, how can you love others. First is first. Love is not an act of attempted giving. Love is a fragrance and spontaneous overflowing and abundance.
Really a good pondering on entering into our own self, there in this post. Thanks.
Right. We won’t see reality rightly without introspection.
“Empty nest syndrome” is no joke. I was totally blindsided by physical illness and depression when my youngest child left home. Who am I, what am I here for, if nobody needs me? It took a few giant mistakes, and a lot of meditation, for me to begin to find out. I live alone, I have no $$, and I love it! Well, I don’t really LOVE the “having no $$” part… but it doesn’t make me anxious, as it used to…. Thanks for the generous food for thought. –Mary